You are not alone.

And some of the things she said really hit me. Maybe it was because I was feeling off or maybe it was because I was really listening. Probably the latter.

I felt guilty.
Because she was right.

About pretty much everything. Like I've made a bunch of mistakes. And I'm really not okay with that.

After that conversation, I thought about all my faults and my fears.

I fear...commitment. She deserves better than that, for what I want is something where I live as a couple and as an individual.

Later, I know I will be accepting of the time needed. But now...now's not the time.


Yes, this is a mirror of what someone else is going through, but it is EXTREMELY accurate as to what has happened recently. I guess life sometimes is like that.

Fuck.

EUB

Jazz band shall be the most interesting and fun class this semester. I'm playing my electric upright bass, so we'll see how that goes. We have another bass player, but I'm sticking with only my EUB. I feel it's more jazzy than a regular electric bass.

I might also be playing sax for a song or two, depending on what happens.

Even when I'm gone

So I added a twitter box onto my blog. It's something that will be there when I'm not actually posting something. A helpful reminder that I am alive.

Speaking of being alive, I was listening to The Colour and the Shape by Foo Fighters the other day. The whole album deals with the entire course of a loving relationship, from start to finish. It reminds me of how mine was. I guess.

Melancholy.

I started writing lyrics for a new song. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I might post them, I might not. But I probably will.

Ultimate Knee Injury Frisbee

You know when you're playing a game really seriously? You're looking directly at the frisbee, about to make a long distance catch and suddenly, you step on an uneven field, your knee bends back, and you have to sit out and be in pain?

You don't know how that feels?

I fucking do.

I don't know what to do.

Really, I have hit a weird point in my life.

I'm not sure what I want anymore.

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